![]() You knew the one-child plan going into this, you ignored the very obvious risk of pregnancy (alcohol may have clouded your judgment and made consequences easier to ignore, but it did not delete how babies are made from your brain), abortion doesn’t seem to have been considered despite the awareness that your buddy’s seed could very well have been that which was planted, and here you are. I don’t want to end up resenting either my wife, my friend, or my son, but I fear that could be a distinct possibility in the future if I am left childless. Am I wrong for feeling cheated? Should I continue to press the issue and try to convince her to give me a child as well. Even though I love our son, I still really want a biological child of my own. Now that she’s done so, my wife is not interested in having more children. Here’s the rub: We had always planned on just having one child. We co-parent with my buddy (yes, we are still good friends), and I don’t care what friends and family have to say about my wife giving birth to another man’s child. I’ve accepted the consequences of my actions, and I love “our” son more than anything. Now having told you all of this, I don’t want you to think my problem is the obvious. Nine months later, my wife gave birth to a baby boy that obviously was not mine. Of course, a few weeks later my wife turned up pregnant, and doing the math, we immediately knew that my buddy could easily be the father. So one night after we had a watch party, I encouraged one of my good friends to hang around afterward for some “additional partying.” The alcohol clouded our judgment, and we didn’t even consider using condoms. To me, sex is just a physical activity, and the thought of her trying another dick not only didn’t bother me, but it actually excited me. At that time, I was the only man my wife had ever been with sexually (I actually lost my virginity in middle school and was active all throughout my high school years), and we had been having discussions about her fooling around with someone else. Unfortunately, during this time, my wife slept with another man during a night of heavy drinking-at my behest. My wife stopped taking the pill, and we began in earnest trying to conceive. ![]() Since we were both so driven to get our company off the ground, it left little time for creating a family outside of just the two of us.Ībout two years ago, we found ourselves with enough financial stability to where we could pull back somewhat from work and begin planning on having children. We started a business together and have been very successful at what we do. We were both like-minded, career-wise, and we each went into the tech field upon graduation from college. My wife and I are both in our late 30s and have been together as a couple since we were juniors in high school. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here. How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. ![]()
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